The theory of conflicting desires

“We know many things but understand nothing" — George Gurdjieff

Note: I have consciously used the word understand in this post. It requires special attention from the reader

Stress management is the biggest topic of heated discussion in modern times. It is recognized with due diligence and a whole industry has come up behind this problem where people are trying to sell you on how to eliminate stress but keep the productivity.

My take on this is very simple, “I don’t know myself and that is the ONLY problem.” Solve that problem first and then talk about stress management I’ll guarantee you that you won’t because there will be no stress to manage.

To explain better I’ll illustrate with two personal real examples,
Example 1: desire for looking good and desire for scrolling on YouTube during gym time.
Example 2: Desire for having a smoke and desire for saving money

My understanding is that the conflict between your desire for easier life and your desire for something beyond your immediate needs is the birthplace of all the stress.

What we don’t understand is that by craving for comfort we automatically create an Aversion(negative desire)for anything remotely challenging.

So is there a solution? YES
Step 1: Contemplate and verify on what I have said until now and understand it to the core.

And that's it, once you understand the problem, that itself is the solution.

Alcohol is bad for your liver we know it but we don’t understand. Recently one of my friends recovered from a liver cirrhosis and now he doesn’t even think about alcohol he did not read any atomic habits nor did he practise any kaizen nor any pointless affirmations. He understood the consequences of alcohol as he lived through it.

We live in a world where we don’t know the value of anything and only value instant gratification because we are made to be so. In these times what we really need is an internal struggle to understand not know but UNDERSTAND the cause and effect of our actions which can only come by knowing ourselves.

How to understand? Fight with yourself and suffer as you sit and imagine the unbearable pain in your liver and the unbearable pain of living your family behind as you die do it every day and one day it becomes a part of you and you will shun alcohol.
But who wants to quit alcohol right? Once a week is good you just have a problem with overdrinking. Then my friend you are a weak who cannot stand up to against your animal urges of instant gratification and that is what the self improvement industry exploits.

I am suffering now because I am not clear with myself. I look outside to know what’s right for me. But I understand my flaw and am transformed. What about you?